Unrealistic Expections

     I always look forward to school holidays and summer vacations, because in my mind I build it up to be this great, fun, carefree time, but it never turns out that way. This Christmas vacation for instance, I have my one daughter that lives in California here visiting and I had visions of all of us sitting around, while Christmas goodies baked in the oven, watching Christmas movies on TV and putting together a 1000 piece puzzle, I love doing puzzles, and having a grand time, it's not happening. Mostly we've watched football games and basketball games and I won't mention who's fault that is, but they know who they are.
     Last summer, I had visions of reading all kinds of books and going to the Roy Pool with the kids several times a week but that didn't happen either. Life just gets in the way. At our house shopping for food is a full time job. If I added up what I have spent at Walmart in the last month it would make you cry. I know this because it makes me cry every month and December is the worst.
     I know what the problem is here, I have unrealistic expectations. I am a see-the-world-through-rose-colored-glasses kind of girl and when the reality doesn't live up to my dreams I have to adjust. And I have to adjust a lot.
    You would think I would learn, but I just keep on hoping for that perfect time when I can do all the fun things that I plan on doing and none of the day to day responsibilities get in the way. Like I said, unrealistic expectations. :)

     I know I am late blogging today, but I have been busy with funeral arrangements. Who knew it was so complicated to pass away? We can't find a copy of Grandpa's birth certificate and we can't file the death certificate until we do. I have my poor sister-in-law searching her house frantically for her copy. Grandma and Grandpa didn't have plots picked out here in Utah, so tomorrow we are going to the local cemetery to pick out two of them. The only problem is it is supposed to rain and snow. I don't want Grandma getting any sicker (she's getting over bronchitis) so I may go with my son-in-law, the funeral director, to pick them out for her.
     Thank goodness for David. He has taken care of so much, I don't even know where or how to begin to thank him.  It's funny the reaction I get from people when I tell them my son-in-law is a funeral director. People usually say, "That's one job I could never do." All I can say is that goodness for the caring men and women who do take care of grieving families in the most stressful of times. What would we do without them.
     And, of course, all the friends, neighbors and ward members who have offered their thoughts and prayers and everything else you could think of. Their are so many good people out there and sometimes we forget that when we are watching the evening news. So to all of you thanks for your support, it means the world to us. We love you all.

A Few Thoughts On Life And Death

     I want to let you all know that my father-in-law, Robert Stefan passed away last Friday evening. He was here, at home and we were with him and my mother-in-law. It was a very peaceful and spiritual experience and I am grateful that I got to be a part of it.
   As a society we have insulated ourselves from two of the most important experiences in life, the act of birth and death. Most families, for centuries have been around when the women in their lives gave birth, even if the children weren't in the room, they were well aware of the magnitude of it. We have taken that away from our children by sending them to grandma's while mom has another baby.
     We have done the a same thing with death. Most people today die in hospitals or retirement homes, if they live that long. Sometimes, family is there and sometimes not. If you look at history, for generations older family members, or sick family members died at home, surrounded by people that love them and have taken care of them since the day they were born. 
     Life is a circle of birth and death. If you are born, someday your body will die, it is one of the truths of this world. I am grateful for my belief in life after death. It is comforting to know that someday we will be together as a family once more. I know that the bonds we form on earth are the most important relationships there are and they continue after our physical bodies can no longer go on.
     Bob was the first grandparent to pass for my children and it has been a positive experience to explain to them that we are sealed in the temple and we are an eternal family. Someday their other grandparents will pass and then it will be time for my generation to go.
     Life is a gift and I think we have lived it well, so miss us, but don't mourn for the wrong reasons. We will be on a new adventure and awaiting the arrival of the next generation.

About Chapter 30

     It was my intention to post chapter 30 today, but we have had a stressful week with sick family members and visiting family. I hope to have it posted on Monday. Sorry.
    

    



 

The Big Day Is Almost Here.

     We're getting down the the finish line here. Are you ready? I think I am getting close. I have two more gifts to buy and I'm not sure what to get. I have to hurry, because I don't want to be out and about on Christmas eve and I have tried to get everything done so that I won't have to be, but there will be something, one tiny little item that I have forgotten and I will be running to Walmart with 800,000 other people on that special day. Oh, the Horror!!!!
     Did mention that I have gifts that I ordered on line that haven't come yet? Did I mention that I ordered new checks, because I am totally out, that were shipped on the eighth of December that I haven't gotten yet? Did I mention that I think I'm going crazy worrying about all 1,890,000 details that must be attended too? And to make it worse I still don't know if my brother-in-law, his wife and son are coming for the weekend. They can't seem to decide. If they come that means more gifts, if not I can save the money. (You can't not give them gifts when they are here on Christmas morning.)
   As much as I love the holiday season it is so stressful, that I am a little relieved when it is over. Do you guys ever feel this way, or is it just me?
    

A Good Mom Or A Bad Mom?

     I have often wondered what the definition of a good mom really is? The reason being, I can't quite figure out where I stand in the motherhood derby. For instance there have been times when my kids didn't like what we were having for dinner, so I let them eat cereal instead. Does that make me a good mom or a bad mom?  There have been times when I just wanted them to go to bed and I didn't care if they had brushed their teeth or not. Does that make me a good mom or a bad mom?
     There have been times when my kids have chosen friends that I didn't think were a very good influence, yet I let them reach their own decisions about that. Sometimes I was sorry and sometimes they were. I have never been a mom to stand over my kids when they did their homework because I wanted them to take responsibility for it themselves. My kids haven't always gotten the best grades due to that decision. I have always been against strange piercings and tattoos, and yet, my daughters, not my sons, have pierced tongues, ears, lips and bellybuttons and one even has a small tattoo. Does that make me a good mom or a bad mom? 
     And right now my two youngest are sleeping on a mattress they took off a bed and raised one end of it by stuffing, who knows what, under the foot part, so it's like they are sleeping on a slant board with their little knuckle-heads at a weird angle. They will probably wake up with massive headaches. Yes, I should have insisted that they put the bed back together and sleep properly, but I didn't. Does that make me a good mom or a bad mom? I wish life came with an instruction manual, because I'm not sure where I stand sometimes.

Variety Is The Spice Of Life.

     Today, I hope to get some of my Christmas baking done. I bought a bunch of the ingredients yesterday while spending a small fortune a Walmart. Last night while talking about this with the fam, I had to laugh, because it was just like when I ask everyone what they might like for dinner.
     "I had two people saying, aren't you going to make the Reese's candies?"
     "No, don't make those I hate those, make the little Russian Tea Cakes.
     "No, I hate those. Make the green things, I love those."
     "What about sugar cookies with frosting?"
     "I want the cashew brittle"
      And so it goes until I am making ten different goodies just to make everyone happy, just like at Thanksgiving. We had two turkeys and a ham, two different kinds of potatoes, two different kinds of vegetables and eight pies, in addition to all the other stuff. When it comes to food, the Stefan's like what they like and no ones going to change their minds or cheat their tummy's.
    Is it any wonder that I have had to take up exercising as a hobby?
    I hope your holiday baking is a little less complicated than mine is, but if you have a great recipe that everyone loves feel free to share, I can always had a new to list.