The Arguments In My Head

     This morning I will make my weekly trip to the airport to pick up the hubby.  He works out of state and so every Wednesday morning I rush through my daily routine and try to time my arrival just right.  I enjoy the drive to the airport most of the time.  I get to listen to my music without anyone complaining.  It's a pretty nice drive no matter what time of year, and it gives me time to gather my thoughts.  This is where the trouble starts. 
     I start making a mental list of all the things I want to tell my husband. Sometimes I have to tell him things that he doesn't want to hear.  And because we have been married for so long and I know him so well, I know exactly what he is going to say in response.   Here's what it's like.
     Hubby: Hey, how's it going.
     Me: Great, except I forgot to pay a bill and now we have a late fee.
     Hubby: Ugh, I don't like paying late fees! Why didn't you pay it on time?
     Me:  Because you told me not to pay anymore bills until we got that check.
     Hubby: But not if we were going to get charged a late fee. Sheesh!
     Me: Anytime you want to take over paying the bills let me know. I've been doing it for thirty years and I'm  tired of it.
     Hubby: I knew that was coming.
     Me: Okay, you big jerk!
      About this time I actually get to the airport and I'm ticked.  The hubby gets in and says, "How's it going?"
      And I say angrily, "fine, and if you want to pay all the bills from now on go ahead."
      The hubby looks at me with that deer-in-the-headlights-look and says, "Okay." In a tone that says he has no intention of asking what the heck I'm talking about.
     After a few minutes of silence he says, "Olive Garden on the way home?"
     "Sure."
     When you think about it, it's a lot easier this way, at least for him. He doesn't have to participate in the arguments in my head.  He only has to make up for what he doesn't know he's done to make me mad in the first place and he's really good at that.  All in all it works for us.