The other day I blogged about when we landscaped our yard. It was a learning experience. I discovered that men and women see things, like landscaping, very differently. While my daughters and I discussed, pondered, agonized and argued about the placement of almost every sprinkler, every rock, every tree, the men just wanted to get it done.
After a long day, we were sitting on the couch exhausted once again when my son said, "Why are we doing this?"
To which I replied, "So the yard will look nice."
"It looked fine the way it was."
My daughters and I looked at each other like, is he serious?
"The weeds were two feet high!" I said.
"So, if this was my house, I'd let them get four feet high."
"I just bet you would. Someone should build a neighborhood and let only men live in it."
All the men smiled and looked as if that would be the greatest thing ever. And then the truth was revealed.
"That would be so cool. No mowing or watering the lawn. Just hack down the weeds once a year," one of them said.
"With a machete!" my son-in-law added.
"Or we could light it all on fire."
"Yeah!!!" All four of the men chimed in on that.
"We could have a bar-b-que in every yard."
"The front yard. And we could have old sofas too, so we could kick back after a game of football."
"We could have ice chests with Mountain Dew too."
"What would you do if that football broke a window?" I asked.
"Cardboard and duct tape."
"You would live in a house with a window covered in cardboard and duct tape?!" I couldn't believe they were serious. Who were these men?
They all looked at me confused and my son said, "Duct tape fixes everything."
I looked at each one in turn and I realized that deep down, they were totally serious. All that time teaching, and training them in the finer points of how civilized people live was a complete waste of time. If they didn't have us to stay on top of them they would revert to swinging from the trees and scratching themselves in no time.
I couldn't take anymore. "You're all fired!"
To which they all whooped and yollered, high-fived and congratulated each other on their instant release from hard labor. Then I thought about all the work left to do in the yard and quickly added, "As soon as the yard is finished." and I added, "and you're not allowed to make any decisions on your own.
Needless to say the vision of their "Manland," has haunted me ever since. And all I can say is my neighbors better pray for my good health because if anything happens to me watch out.
1 week ago