Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Few Of Jeff Foxworthy's Utah Jokes with Disclaimers

     I wish I could claim these, but alas, they are the work of Jeff Foxworthy. There were many more but these were the funniest.
     If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

     This makes me laugh. When we moved here we were so surprised when people would say things like "that is all the way in Salt Lake."  Or "that is way up in Ogden." When we lived in Cali. we would drive forever on crowded freeways just to go to dinner or the mall.  It was just a part of life there.  Here is feels like we have everything we need within minutes so when someone in our family wants to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant in Roy, lately I have to admit to thinking, but that is so far.  It takes about 15 minutes.  I guess I'm becoming a true Utahan. :)
     If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.

     Everyone knows you only install those security lights so that when you take out the trash at night you don't have to mess with the outside light switch when your hands are full. Duh!

     If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.

     I wouldn't be a bit surprised if someone offered to go home with you and help with what ever project you are working on.  That is just the kind of place this is.

     If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

     This is soooo true. Since we moved here their has been major road construction every where.  On the 15 freeway they have been widening it. I think it is a century long project. Got to keep folks working.  And for those of us that lived through the Antelope street widening project, hurray, it is done.  Why they chose to widen Antelope and tear up Gordon at the same time, when those are the two main streets to Walmart, I'll never know.

     If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.

     Ten degrees is a 'little chilly' but you have to understand that the air in Utah is so dry, that unless the wind is blowing anything 20 degrees or over feels good.  We sleep with our bedroom window open even in the winter.  If it got really cold, say 6 degrees we only leave it open a crack but still.  To us anything over sixty is air conditioning weather.
      I guess this means we have become true Utahans except in the way we drive, but that is a whole other blog.

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