Warning: If you are offended by the word, butt, don't read today's blog.
I don't know why I do it, but I did it again. I went shopping with my daughters. Now if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you know I hate to shop, unless it's Walmart or Home Depot. The mall and I have never been good friends. Yesterday however I had to take my daughter to get a new pair of jeans. A friend had told her about a great sale and I am all for sales at this time of year. We went, we found, we bought.
And then they took me down to J.C. Penny's to look for jeans for me. I have lost a little bit of weight and my old jeans are really baggy. That's the good news. The bad news is my daughter talked me into buying cute jeans. They really are cute, but, after wearing them for the day, I don't know how the girls today do it. The jeans are cut lower on the hip and they fall down all stinking day long. Every time I bend over I have to hike my jeans up. I suppose if I wanted my butt crack to hang out it would be fine, but let's be realistic here. I am a married, for a lot of years now, mother of ten. No one on the face of this earth wants to see my behind, in all its heinous glory.
I bend down to plug in the vacuum, pull up my pants, bend over to pick up the candy wrapper the vacuum won't, pull up my pants. Get in the car, butt crack gets chilled, it's winter here and it snowed all day. Get out of car, pull up pants. Walk two feet, pull up pants. I feel like I need to walk like the gangsters on T.V. when they are getting arrested and they have to walk with their legs spread really far because their hands are in handcuffs and they can't keep their pants up.
Is this really the best the fashion people can do? I am a grandmother for goodness sakes and I want pants that stay on, with full coverage and I'm not going to settle for anything less. Who's with me?!
2 days ago