Why is it that we doubt ourselves so much? We can be over-achievers and lead a near perfect life(I'm not referring to me here) and still we doubt what we are doing. I have written two books, which are over 100,000 words, and still I wonder if I can to it. I have started about 27 others and I wonder.
Is it the nature of women and people in general to doubt what they can do? Is it a positive form of self-examination, or a way of bringing ourselves down. Maybe, it depends on how you use those doubts to change what needs to be changed and make improvements.
I know I am a good mother, at least I try to be the best mother I can be, but I still question myself and wonder if I could have done, or do better. Could I keep my house cleaner? Definitely. Could I be kinder to my family, of course. I could, and should, be more careful with money, but I don't go to the mall and buy summer wardrobes either. I gave up coke, but still eat my share of unhealthy foods. I could go on and on about all the things I could improve on, but is it empowering or demeaning? For me mostly demeaning. It makes me feel like a failure. I need to see the books that I have finished and not the 27 that I haven't, yet. I need to see the good in my kids and not the mistakes. I need to see all the things I have accomplished and not the things I still need to work on. Or am I wrong? What do you think?
3 years ago
Girl, I know exactly what you mean. I think a little bit of self assessment is really good. Though, too much second guessing can become debilitating to creativity or to productivity of any kind... I guess there's a good middle ground, but what that is? You'll have to ask someone else...
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Kerrigan. We need a little bit of self-assessment to keep is moving and improving. However, too much can be very hindering. We are our own worse judges.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you wonder why the things we've already done aren't good enough? It's always about what needs to be done. I, for one, need to change that,too. I have done a lot of good and bad stuff, and some the bad was really good, you know what I mean. :) And some of the really bad stuff still shaped me into who I am. Now that my kids are older, I'm wiser, and in my forties, I actually starting to like myself more. Time to quit demanding so much. Okay, I'm taking a chocolate break now.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Sheereen!